It is so easy to live a fragmented existence, mainly it is taught to us by society, by our parents, by our teachers, by our friends. Behave this way when in school, this way when adults are present, this way when these folks are around...so it isn't a surprise that as adults we have to embark in a long quest to make our lives whole again. It took years to fragment who we were into small compartmentalized fractions of ourselves and so it takes years to bring those pieces into who we want to be again. In the meantime, a lots of those fragments get further broken, or polished, or painted. The longer we wait to go back to the whole, the harder the process will be. So wait no time and be, and remember it will take time and this process is a gift. Here is a poem that explains this concept better than I could possibly do.
Love After Love
The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
“Love after Love” from COLLECTED POEMS 1948-1984 by Derek Walcott