Grace in Disagreement: Brene Brown's guidelines for feedback

It's not disagreement, but graceful disagreement that makes the world go round. And it is rediscovering that grace that Brené Brown articulates so well in her guidelines for engaged feedback:

" I know I am ready to give feedback when:

I'm ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.I'm willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).I'm ready to listen ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes.I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges.I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you.I'm willing to own my part.I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings.I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity.I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you." Disharmony and discomfort can be grounds for transformation once grace and compassion are in the mix. What we need now more than ever is the capacity to both hear and speak honestly together. Go ahead disagree, but do it in Grace!

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Put Down Phone, Save Lives

To take this challenge, navigate to the Tap Project’s site (uniceftapproject.org) on your phone. The site uses your phone’s accelerometer to see if you’re actually leaving it alone. You must actually put the phone down–no reading or moving it whatsoever–or there will be no donation. We would add that you might take this challenge when you wouldn’t be normally leaving your phone alone–e.g. sleeping, yard work, etc.

While our phones pack many marvels, they also pack some not-so-desirable side-effects; some have argued that our phone-addiction is eroding our ability to pay attention to anything for sustained periods, and they might be decreasing ability to be present with our immediate environment. If you feel yourself experiencing these, or other, conditions, the Tap Project can help you regain your focus while making a positive impact for someone in need.

Want Happy Feets? Aromatheray blend to energize your step!

As we move into warmer days, awaken your senses with clean, refreshing scents.  Citrus aromas are naturally cleansing and energizing- think lemon, grapefruit, orange.  Peppermint, lime, ginger, eucalyptus and rosemary scents, to name a few, are all used to uplift the spirit and recharge the mind and body.  While reading Barbara Close's The Spa Deck, I ran into this great foot soother recipe which is just what my winter-tired feet are barking for.

Before I give you the recipe, make sure to look for pure therapeutic grade essential oils.  Don't use synthetic fragrances, only pure essential oils retain the healing properties of the plants from which they are derived.  I have a link to my favorite essential oil brand in my webpage

Rosemary Citron Sea Salt Foot Smoother

Want happy feet?  Try this after wearing uncomfortable shoes or standing for long periods.  It works its magic in part by helping to break up lactic acid deposits that causes feet to ache.

• 1/2 cup of sea salt, coarsely ground

• 2 oz of carrier oil (such as almond oil)

• 8 drops of grapefruit essential oil

• 5 drops of lemon essential oil

• 20 drops of rosemary essential oil

• 1 spring rosemary leaves, chopped finely

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl; set aside.  Soak feet in warm water for 10 minutes to soften the skin.  Rub mixture onto feet, concentrating on the rough patches.  Wrap feet in plastic and swaddle in a towel.  Leave on for 15 minutes.  Rinse with warm water.

Start Oil Pulling Today - detox + rejuvenate

In recent days I’ve seen resurgent interest in oil pulling, I’ve been practicing oil pulling for about 7 year now and I can't praise enough all the benefits it has brought to my health and daily rituals. This is an updated post, originally posted in 2014.

Oil pulling is an ancient Ayurvedic method for detoxing and rejuvenation. It’s a simple practice, with quite remarkable results. If you’re looking for ways to naturally improve your health, you’ll eventually hear about oil pulling. It definitely has a mystical and exciting vibe around it, which made me eager to try. But what exactly is it? What does it do?

what is it?

Oil pulling is swishing unrefined, high quality oil in your mouth; similar (but not quite) to the way you’d use a mouthwash.  Yep, any oil.   My favorite is coconut oil. This can be done anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. The process attracts and removes bacteria, toxins, and parasites that live in your mouth or lymph system, and also pulls congestion and mucus from your throat and loosens up your sinuses.   With the help of your saliva, all these scary undesirables bind with the oil, ready to be disposed of. Some sites say that pulling also helps re-mineralize your teeth and strengthen your gums by thoroughly cleansing the area.

This sounds good, right? But how exactly do you do it?

Traditionally, oil pullers used virgin sesame oil. The reason I prefer to use raw coconut oil is because it taste good to me.  The other benefit is that coconut oil has antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory, and enzymatic properties. This provides the added benefit of killing any unwanted bacteria that may be residing in the mouth, while leaving behind healthy probiotic strains.

To start, scoop ½ to 1 full tablespoon of oil into the mouth; if it’s cold, allow the oil to melt. Now push, swirl, and pull the oil between your teeth, around your gums, and allow it to touch every part of your mouth except your throat.  Not too vigorously or you'll be tired in a minute.  You don’t want the oil getting in contact with your throat either because it’s now carrying somewhat toxic material. No gargling!

If you feel it's too much oil in your mouth, it’s too much, so use less.

Once you’re swirling, have fun with it.  Hum a little song, or practice deep breathing through your nose. Allow this to be a sacred time. Enjoy the feeling of cleansing, the relaxation with the absence of talking. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of smiling with a mouth full of oil. Something about it just feels so right.

Once your time pulling is over, as I said 5 to 20 minutes, spit into the trash can, but never your bathroom sink — the oil could solidify and clog your drain. Now rinse your mouth out with clean water two or three times. Finally, drink a glass of water and relax. You should be feeling fresh and rejuvenated.

why oil pulling?

A popular reason for oil pulling is to find relief from congestion in the sinuses and throat. It’s unbelievable how quickly this happens.  Immediately after, you will find yourself blowing your nose and clearing your throat.

I began pulling to benefit my gums and teeth. My gums strengthened, and teeth became much whiter! It also proved to be beneficial to my skin, which became bright and almost glowing. Swishing with coconut oil, per Ayurveda literature, has also proven to be beneficial to those with skin disorders such as psoriasis, and is great for anyone who wants to detox and begin taking better care of their immune system.

Oil pulling can be done at any time of the day, but for a more thorough detox, its best to do this in the morning, before eating or drinking. If you are having a hard time fitting oil pulling into your routine, I’ve found a nice time to do this is while performing another morning ritual like showering or walking when talking is not needed. This way, you aren’t counting the clock until the minutes are up and you link one good habit with another one.

I hope you enjoy this healing, divine and sensual experience as much as I do. Love the oil. Love the process. Happy oil pulling!

Looking for Recipes That Use Food You Already Have?

After all the holiday cooking, I usually end up with a variety of left  over ingredients that don't necessarily go together in my staple of recipes.  When it's time to use these rainbow of ingredients I typically mix them all together to create what my dear friend Joanna calls "Army Food."  However if you are looking for new recipes to use either left over ingredients or your old staples ones, I found a new app called Su Chef.

The app works by creating filters for recipes based on various ingredients; you can put in navy beans as your main ingredient, for example. Su Chef has other filters like type of cuisine, cook-time, which meal, dietary preferences, etc. LifeHacker says it’s like an “advanced search” for recipes.

I imagine Su Chef won't find recipes for all your needs, but what it will likely do is give new ways to creatively configure your staple ingredients, or show you how to make an all new standard dishes with the addition of an ingredient or two. And Su Chef will surely provide some clever uses for your Holiday leftovers. Get Su Chef for $2 on iTunes. 

via Lifehacker

The perfect gift is in your intention

Looking for last-minute holiday gifts can be stressful when we add all the last-minute activities that we try to squeeze out of the end of the year. When in a stressful situation I always ask the intention, and we can all agree that the objective of a holiday gift is to offer to the people we love and like something that will enrich their lives–things they will appreciate, use and enjoy.  If you are purchasing gifts, unless you have been told what the gift receiver wants, chances are you won’t know how the gift is received and/or if the gift will fulfill its intention.

So what do we do? How do we strengthen social bonds without forking over a ton of money? How do we avoid putting our loved ones in positions where they feel like they must pretend to like something in order to maintain a relationship? Here are a few ideas:

• Give experiences. People are far more likely to be satisfied with an experience than an object. Treat them to a play, take them out to dinner or cook dinner for them, go to a yoga class with them…whatever. Keep the focus on doing and experiencing, not having and accumulating. If you need ideas, I love a website I found this season, it's called Unstuff and it offers great ideas for stuff-free gift giving.

• Give a gift certificate or money. It might lack the romance, but these gifts are sure to get used. I usually add a note to the card telling the receiver anecdotes or of gifts ideas I thought they may enjoy.

• Give thoughtfully. Gift giving is an art. It often takes time, consideration and some knowledge of the gift receiver’s life. If we don’t have those things, we might want to give something with more universal appeal. If we do have those things, choose something carefully…and feel free to throw in a gift receipt and make sure you tell them that they can return. Remember its not your gift once given.

Everyday Miracles

In case you live under a rock next to mine and don't know about the genius of Thich Nhat Hanh, his Caligraphic Meditation Exhibit is a great introduction to his light and wisdom.  Running through December 31st at ABC Carpet & Home in the heart of Manhattan, this collection of the Zen Master's insight is for sure a refreshing way to get inspired and recharged during the holiday season.  My favorite phrase in the exhibit "No mud, no lotus." That is what I call Sassy Mindfulness!

Further reading his work, I found the passage below and got inspired to find a picture that captured his words. 

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”

—Thich Nhat Hanh, from The Miracle of Mindfulness

Curiosity (galactic awareness in the everyday life)

As season moves us into darker days, I feel that my innate curiosity starts to move me inside.  I am sure we all feel those moments where we want to explore areas of ourselves that we don't know anything about (whether because we are afraid to know or because we never thought about it before).  Our curiosity is a springboard, a launching pad for that leap of faith into the unknown.  What would happen if you bring your awareness into new territories the experience of life?  

That is exactly what scientist did in 1996.  They pointed the Hubble Space Telescope at one of those dark patches in space.  The result: one of the most important images ever taken. Where we as humans saw nothing, there were galaxies — more than 3,000 of them. And when we looked more deeply, our field of view expanded to more than 100 billion galaxies.  Next time you are curious, you are afraid, you don't know, point the telescope of your own attention.  You'll never know what you may find.

 

Two ways to Dry your clothes that don't blow

Your woolies and winter gear is out and that means that you will soon be hang-drying a lot of your clothes.  This is not only kind to your clothes but also to the environment  (standard dryers create about 4.4 lbs of CO2 per load).  Not everyone has the availability or the inclination to use an outdoor clothesline and drying clothes in small NYC spaces can be difficult.  

With all that in mind, here are two products (not your parent's drying rack) that provide space-and-energy efficient ways to hang dry your clothes in your small space.  I use both of these and they do a fantastic job of economizing space and both very efficient.

Fold-Away Drying Rack

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This clever rack, provides 14 linear feet of hanging space for your garments. It also features an integrated stainless steel towel bar, making it perfect for mounting over a bathtub. The best part, when you are not using it, as the name indicates, it fold out of the way for easy storage.  Available at The Container Store for $34.99.

Folding Sweater Dryer

This one offers a nice, large mesh surface for fast drying, yet folds in half for easy storage. The offset legs swivel so it can be used on a countertop or across a tub. Multiples can be stacked for larger drying needs.  I recommend that you buy two and dedicate one for dark color sweater and another for light color sweaters (to prevent dye transfer).  Available at OXO for $15.99.

You say Tomato, I say Tomato Salad!

Dutchess County is one of my favorite geographical spots. Aside from the Hudson River Valley's beautiful landscape, another thing makes Dutchess so good is the farmers' stands.  The kindness of farmers and the vegetables are a blessing.  To me August is the perfect month to get loss in Dutchess and pick perfect tomatoes from the farmer stands. 

I can just eat these red jewels with a little salt and pepper, but if I have guest, I like serving a tomato salad either as a starter dish, or a complement to a main dish. This is my favorite tomato salad recipe.

Ingredients for 2 servings

• 1 palmful of crumbled feta cheese

• 1 small basket of ripe grape (or cherry) tomatoes, sliced lengthwise

• 1 ripe heirloom tomato, cored and sliced into wedges

• 1 Table spoon of scallions (or mint, or basil or your favorite tomato-mate herb)

For Dressing

• 1 teaspoon of white wine vinegar

• 1/4 tablesoon of raw local honey

• 2 tablespoons of olive oil

• salt and pepper to taste

Preparation

Mix the dressing ingredients minus oil, and then whisk in the oil till the emulsification takes place (i.e., it looks like a salad dressing).  Mix the salad ingredients and and dressing.  Sometimes I like adding caper to the mix, but I'll leave that to you.  Please enjoy and let me know of any variation you find irresistible

Organizing your accessories en Español

A few weeks ago Nadia Torres from Telemundo NY - Channel 47 News stopped at The Container Store, where I help people stay organized, and asked me some fun question about how to keep your summer accessories organized. You can watch the TV segment in the above video.  Even if you don't speak Spanish you can get that if you keep items visible and accessible you are on the right track.

Most of the accessories we discussed were women's, but guys have stuff too! With father' day's extra ties and belts around,  I thought it would be worth to spell out some of the tips I shared with Nadia about keeping men's accessories off the floor and organized.

Ties & Belts

Ensure the investment made in neckties and belts is properly protected by keeping them organized (and off the floor). Choose a solution that allows you to organize them to hang full length for a quick grab each morning.

                           

Product:    

o      Huggable Tie & Belt hooks

o      Cedar 4-Hook Belt Keeper

Ballcaps

They’re not just for taking out to the ballgame. Ballcaps have become a staple accessory for casual days, workouts and weekends — and there’s always “just the right hat” depending on your mood. It’s important to keep your favorite hats easily accessible, the shape protected and free from dust. Find a small unused vertical space in your closet or even on the back of your door to store and organize your entire ballcap collection.

                      

Product:

o      Perfect Curve Cap Rack

Goop, there it is: boost your health with breath

GOOP featured on it's June 13th's mag, our own NYC's resident yoga teacher Elena Brower, co-owner of Virayoga.  Elena shows a simple metabolism boosting series.  One of the best lessons I have learned from studying with Elena is the powerful resource that breath is, so I am sharing the breathing meditation guide featured in the article.

"Set a timer for 3 minutes. Bring your prayer hands up to your forehead, and place your thumbs on your third eye point, in the middle of your forehead. Breathe slowly and deeply. This meditation can help to strengthen metabolism (as well as help control high blood pressure). It works the glandular system (which regulates bodily activities such as metabolism through hormones), stimulating and balancing the pituitary and pineal glands, considered the master glands of the body."